Distraction

Last week I went in to get a PICC line. A PICC line is a long thin tube that is inserted into a large vein in your upper arm, normally right above the elbow. The tube is flexible and goes all the way to the heart. They use PICC lines for IV antibiotics because it can stay in your arm for a long time, where an IV will only last a couple of days, and you can go home and continue with your IV fluids on your own. Under the supervision of a nurse of course. So as for me…I have infections in my bone and tissue so I started the IV antibiotics to knock em all out and get rid of them! I am not sure how long I will be on them but I am thinking at least a couple of months. Anywho… I went into the Interventional Radiology Dept. to have it put in. They have you lay down on a table thingy and an x-ray machine is put over your chest where they can immediately see what they are doing. Normally as soon as they insert the needle I get queasy and feel as though I am going to pass out. But this time they were all distracting me and it happened so fast. I did feel a little pain this time but I thought it was just from the lidocaine that they had injected which ironically burns right before it numbs the skin. :) Then they brought this screen over so I could see what the Dr was looking at. I looked up and saw this live x-ray. It was kinda cool. It would have been cooler if it wasn’t my body that they were inserting things into! Haha It was also so weird because I could see my ribs and backbone and then about 4 inches of bars along with some screws from my back surgery when I had my accident. I mean, I have had plenty of x-rays and CT scans but to see it live was so weird and knowing that there was no mistaking, that was really my body that I was watching them work on. I do enjoy learning about what they were doing and I was grateful that they taught me as they went along. I am also grateful that they distracted me during the part that was the most painful! It really helped me remain calm and not feel as much pain because my anxiety level was kept down. They have a great staff of Dr’s and nurses in that department.

            One day when I grow up I am going to be a Child Life Specialist. We work with children in the hospital or other settings that could be painful, for example dentist’s offices or other types of clinics. We help them cope with what is going on and teach them about procedures that they will be going through so they are not so scared. We also do a lot of distraction during procedures. Getting the children to blow bubbles or blow on a windmill during a blood draw encourages deep breathing and distracts them at the same time. It’s all about distracting kids from pain! It hurts less, most of the time, if you are distracted…even for adults (per my adventure above).

            I love learning about and incorporating pain management techniques. I love helping children cope with physical and emotional pain. I love watching them learn to trust you as they learn coping skills. I love watching them realize that they can be in control of parts of their care and therefore be happy and have a greater chance of physically healing as they healthily cope with their procedures and/or illnesses. I love working with children.

            I know that distraction works great for diminishing physical pain…the problem comes if we continue to use this same distraction for emotional pain. There may be times in our lives where we may feel if we don’t talk about painful events or circumstances, they will go away. We will get over them and it won’t affect anyone but us. And although that sounds like a good idea...it usually isn’t. The more we suppress and hold those feelings in the more they build up, until one day the balloon pops and everything blows up in smoke. Or perhaps worse those feelings stay suppressed and undealt with and your relationship with others begins to diminish because you can’t be your true self. And even though we may not realize it, we put walls up only letting in and out things that keep us in control of our feelings. We may be really good at this, keeping it all in, keeping ourselves busy so we don’t have to think about the pain. This may work really well in the beginning, or for a little while. We find that our work, whether it be school, church, a full time job or our families just to name a few, can distract us enough so we don’t have to be in pain. We keep ourselves busy and our minds active so we push out those painful memories, events or circumstances. And we may be dang good at it! But there will come a time in our lives where we will no longer be able to suppress these feelings anymore. This may be after your first year of marriage, or after you have been married and have 4 kids. It may be after your children have grown up and are now out of the house. Whatever it is, if there is a significant event whether it be something from your childhood, as a teenager and/or something as an adult…if you don’t take the time to properly heal and go through the healing and/or grieving process it will effect your relationship with others and most likely the ones that you are closest to.

This has really been on my mind this last month. I have talked with couples who have shared with me similar experiences and I am amazed at the amount of pain that has been caused from the lack of dealing with and healing from pain. One night one of my friends shared with me, how recently he and his wife had been in a really tough spot. They couldn’t even stand to be in the same room together and although they didn’t know what the problem was they knew that they loved their children and their husband/wife relationship obviously was affecting their family. They went to counseling together and after a session or two my friend realized that he would benefit the most from individual routine therapy sessions. As he began talking and discussing he learned that there were things from his childhood that made him think and feel the way he did and it was causing him to have huge walls up that he didn’t realize. There were things that happened to him as an adult also but that just compounded his fear of fully opening up. He didn’t share his feelings with his wife and family and they were never able to form that bond and trust that is needed in healthy relationships because of his walls. It took him a year with his counselor but he is now able to share things that bother him and he is amazed at how liberating and good it feels, and how there is a huge weight lifted off of his shoulders. After he told me this story we started talking about something that has been happening very recently with one of his teenagers. I just sat and listened and as he left my room (I was in the hospital) I thanked him for talking with me and he thanked me and said, “see, I feel so much better just being able to quickly talk about that.” I am so thankful he made the effort to work on himself so that his relationship with others could continue to grow.

            Earlier this year, I was watching the show, Losing it with Jillian Michaels. She moves in with a family for a week and teaches them how to eat right and exercise. During the filming she learned one of the reasons they began gaining weight. 20 years ago they lost their newborn son and the husband had never spoken about it to anyone. Anytime the wife would try to bring it up he would walk away and say that he couldn’t talk about it. They have 2 other children who are adults and on the Jillian Michaels website she says, “This tragic event has been an emotional roadblock for them and has fragmented the family in more ways than they realize.” As she has them sit down the wife brings out a family photo album and opens up to the pictures of their baby’s final days on the earth. The wife says that she needs to talk about it with him (her husband) because she needs to heal and she can’t do that without his support. He starts to say that he can’t, it’s too hard but as she reminds him that they need to do this together he lets her share her feelings. As she speaks his hands are covering his face and he cries in emotional pain. Of course they don’t show everything in the show but I guess they were all able to talk about it and share their feelings. The father then says that they are not going to be a family who keeps things in anymore. From then on out they are gong to talk about their feelings and share them. I was so amazed at how long this family had been living with this pain and how it had affected their family for 20 years. What an awesome example of allowing themselves to go through the grieving process in order to fully heal and open the channels of communication.

So…to make a long story…well, longer :) If you are using distraction to run from emotional pain, think about what you are doing and the consequences they may be having in your life and to those around you. Then think about how you can change this pattern in your life. Depending on your individual lives you may need to seek professional help. Know that that is ok, you won’t have to be dependent on a counselor/therapist for the rest of your life, but you may need them for a time. And if you just need a good friend to talk to, find someone who will support you no matter what, without tearing you down. If you are reading this, know that you are cared about and loved more than you know. There is hope! There is always hope! And things will always work out the way they are supposed to just as long as you include your Heavenly Father along the way.

I hope this all made sense, it was kind of a funny topic for me to discuss in this blog. I just really care about my family and friends and I want what is best for everyone. I know that is not always possible but if there is just one person who will benefit from what I have said, than it really is all worth it!! Thank you friends for being there for me, and providing healthy distractions once in a while!!

Editor's note: …ironically this post took me forever to write! I kept getting distracted by anything I could all evening…one more testimony on the power of distraction! It really works…haha