I woke up singing The Emma Smith song from the Nashville Tribute Band one day this week. I thought about how interesting it was to have that particular song in my head, a little while later I was reminded that that day was the anniversary of the martyrdom of Joseph and Hyrum Smith. It made me feel very honored that I could receive revelation for myself, but yet it had to do with someone, so loved, and highly favored of the Lord. Like this was not my day, but yet the lord was allowing me to have a part in it. I’m not really sure how to explain my feelings, but it just felt so good and I felt so honored. Emma Smith went through so much. And I have no idea how she did it. I’ve been trying to find more joy in my life and sometimes it’s difficult when life is hard. But I’m grateful that I have the time to reflect on her example and her resilience and continual Love of the Lord.
Yesterday my sister, Kelly flew into Utah for our brothers wedding. I had decided to get a hotel so that we could stay together. Last night when we got to the hotel to check in they informed us that they did not have any hot water. We decided that it would still be OK to stay there. A few hours later, I realized that it was not going to work for her. Her restless legs were acting up and she needed a place to take a warm shower. So I took her over to our other brothers house, and she spent the night there. This morning she was going to get a ride from our sister-in-law to come back to the hotel and help me load up the car and then we were going to spend the day with my best friend Kristen!
About 15 minutes before Kelly was supposed to leave to come over, she called me to tell me that she was trying to make breakfast, and she got really dizzy and could barely even walk or do anything without feeling like she was going to pass out. After a little bit of time we decided that it would be best for her to go to the emergency room to get checked out. My mind was thinking…Our brothers wedding is tomorrow! Why is this happening now!? What are we supposed to learn from this? Why now? Come on Heavenly Father! Why now? This is too much! What if this happens and what if that happens and how are we going to get through all of this. My parents were on their way back from Ferron, they were towing my brothers car and had my two nieces in the truck with them. They would have stopped to help Kelly if I wasn’t here but thankfully I was! My brother was at work, and my sister-in-law was busy. They also have five stairs to get into their house so there was no way I could go over and help her with anything. I felt so helpless and yet at the same time, I was trying to do everything I could. I packed up my suitcase and her suitcase and got them loaded in the car with the help of the hotel cleaners lol
My sister-in-law brought up some water and yogurt to Kelly and then had to leave for a meeting. Before I got there my brother came home from work and rushed up to make sure she was OK and then made her some breakfast before rushing back to work.
As I drove over to pick her up, and as I was asking these questions of Heavenly Father, I was reminded of a situation that happened a few months ago. My friend Kristen was supposed to leave to go out of town for a short trip across the country. She was flying out late Thursday night, but we had plans to spend time together for a few minutes before she left for the airport. As I was driving up from Las Vegas, I got a text from her telling me that her son had just had a seizure and she wasn’t going to be able to get together. She also was not even sure she could go on her trip. It was devastating and scary and uncertain. This was on top of an already emotional trip that was going to be fun, but that just carried a lot of feelings with it.
After spending most of the day in the ER, they didn’t find anything wrong with her son, and they sent him home to rest. She was able to go on her trip, and even though it made life difficult for a little while after, her son shows no sign of damage from the seizure!
So as I was getting ready and driving over to visit Kelly, I kept thinking about this experience and how I knew that we were going to have more stress heaped upon us but that everything was going to be OK and that the wedding will still go on and Kelly will be OK. I felt a tremendous amount of peace! I don’t have to worry about the outcome. I also don’t have to worry about why this is happening because it’s not going to make any difference. I just needed to remember the experience Kristen had and how scary that must’ve been and yet she handled it with grace. This also reminded me that I need to do the same and then I need to just trust that the Lord will take care of everything and that she is going to be OK!
I believe that everything happens for a reason, and that, even when we don’t understand why things are happening there’s lessons that we can learn from our trials. So I continue to think about what the Lord might be teaching me through this experience. I don’t know why this trial happened or if there is a specific lesson we are learning, but I do know that the more we go through difficult things, Our capacity to get through tough situations grows. We can withstand more stress and we become stronger and able to go through more difficult things. Our resilience grows, and we learn how to be more flexible and understanding, and able to roll the punches.
I also believe that Heavenly Father wants us to learn resilience and be able to see it in ourselves. To prove that we can do hard things, and we can do them together.
And lastly through this experience I believe, It gives us an opportunity to serve each other in a way that we are not used to doing. I mean this way of serving is not foreign to us, but we have not had the opportunity to collectively serve Kelly in this way. It brought our family closer together through this!
And I am so so grateful for the example of Kristen who taught me that no matter how hard it is we’re still going to get through it!!
Update: after I picked up Kelly, we had planned on heading to a hospital in Lehi, since it was close. But I decided that since mom and dad were in bountiful maybe we could just go there just in case we needed some extra support. After stopping to get some yummy food at Café Rio, I took her to Lakeview hospital in bountiful. The doctor working that day, specializes in vertigo! That’s what she has and he knew exactly what to do to help her gradually feel better! It really was a miracle! Our dad gave her a blessing, and the next day she was able to feel really well and enjoyed our brothers wedding.
She still is struggling with vertigo, but she’s doing a lot better than she was the first day. I am so grateful for the experiences of others that we can rely on when we don’t have answers to important questions. And I’m grateful the Lord never gives up on me even when I question him and say “what are you thinking? This is way too hard right now?” Haha I’m grateful I can trust that he knows best, even if it takes me a bit to get to that point in my mind. Life is a blessing!
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