Yes!! This adequately describes my feelings right now. It has been a unique day, with extreme highs and perhaps lows or maybe just a lot of strong emotions.
I was asked to teach Relief Society on President Nelson’s talk called “Overcome the World and Find Rest“ he gave it in General Conference last week and it was my favorite talk. This conference all I wanted to hear about was trials and how to overcome them. My heart is still hurting from the loss of my good friend and our relationship. I’m trying so hard to do what’s right and to act as Christ would have me act but dang it’s just hard sometimes. And I don’t like hard lol! I like easy and I like fun, and I like to smile, and I like to be joyful, and I like to be happy! I do not like to be sad, and I do not like to be hurting so when I’m in those situations I want to get out of them as soon as possible. But then sometimes the situations just happen, and I feel like I’m just trying to keep my head above water and to keep swimming so that I don’t drown.
Last night I was preparing my lesson and I had a hard time concentrating so I asked my good friend who's also the Relief Society president, to say a prayer for me and she did. I felt immediate peace and I was able to concentrate on preparing the lesson. I remember trying so hard to concentrate and stop letting my thoughts get the best of me and I started hearing the song, Peace in Christ. I played that in my head and tried to feel the Lord‘s peace as I prepared.
I went to bed but kept waking up in the middle of the night and every time I woke up, I could hear the words to the song, Peace in Christ. When I woke up, I had received a text message from my friend who had said, “I can’t remember if I shared this song with you before but it’s one of my favorites.” And then sent the attachment of the song “Peace in Christ“. It felt as though Heavenly Father was practically yelling at me that I needed to play the song for the sisters in my ward in my lesson today. My sister Kelly and I tease about promptings and how sometimes the Lord tells us to do something, and we don’t listen the first time so he tells us over and over and then finally he tells us in a way that we cannot ignore! So Kelly and I tease that it’s like Heavenly Father is yelling at us to do the same thing over and over again that He’s already been telling us to do lol! It just takes us a hot second to finally hear him, but he practically has to yell at us before we listen lol! So when my friend sent me that song, I felt like it was Heavenly Father trying to get through my hard head that I needed to use that song in the lesson.
As I’m getting ready to leave for church I go to my desk and put my earrings on and all of the sudden I hear some guy in our apartment yelling at the top of his lungs. I quickly went over and locked my bedroom door and sat there to try to figure out what was going on. Apparently, my roommate had one of her friends come over and he decided that he wanted to scream when he came to our apartment. It was very unnerving, and it literally made me sit in my room and shake because it triggered a trauma response that I was in danger. I needed to leave for church, so I gathered my things up and went downstairs to my car. When I got down there my car was not there! Now I had not calmed down from the first traumatic experience, so now I’m even more shaky and trying to figure out what to do! I called the towing company that monitors our parking garage, and they tell me that they have a car that is a Mazda 3 but they have in their system that it’s a blue one. I told them that my car is black and they realized that it’s the same car. They told me that the reason according to their system that it was towed was because I was parked illegally in a no parking zone. I explained to her that I was parked in my own parking spot. Then she called the tow driver and he said that I was parked in the handicap parking and didn’t have my placard up. He was correct but my placard was sitting on the dashboard and anybody that walked next to the car could see the placard. We are also required to have stickers from the apartment complex that say the apartment complexes name on them. They want us to put them in the front windshield, but I do not like having it on my car because I already feel vulnerable and I do not want anyone to know where I live. Vegas can have some crazy people around campus haha!
So I called my boss and told him what had happened, and he sent a message to the owner of the company that towed my car. I didn’t hear anything back for a while, but I knew that I needed to get to church. It was about 12:30 and church started at 1 and I needed to teach at 2. So, I just sat there for a second and sent a message to my coworkers asking if anybody could give me a ride to church. The problem was that my long transfer board was in my car. That meant that I couldn’t get into just anybody’s car and I had to get into somebody’s car who was low to the ground so that my board could reach. One of the managers, Baker, literally started walking towards me as he left the gym. He was reading my message as he walked up on me, and he said that he would take me to church. It was such a great blessing for him to be so willing to just drop everything and drive me.
I went up to my room to get my smaller board and as I open the front door, I can smell cigarette smoke in our apartment. There is no smoking in this apartment complex at all and I knew that it was coming from my apartment which meant that it was coming from my roommates room. I was livid. I almost went and knocked on her door, but I controlled myself and just got my board and left. She knows that I work in the front office and that I keep the rules. The crazy thing is this is the second time that I have smelled the smoke in my apartment, but I thought the first time was an accident. Now I know that this guy that is visiting her is also smoking in her room, or they are smoking together. Which means that now I need to address this with her at a later time.
I get back down to the car and Baker drives me to church. I felt so grateful to him for his generosity and kindness. He even walks me to the chapel doors and opens them! Then offers to come pick me up! I am blessed! I arrive to church at about 1:30 and took some deep breaths to calm down so that my heart would stop racing. I still have no idea what was going on with my car, but I knew that I had to teach Relief Society and that was all that mattered at the moment. I also didn’t have any idea how I was going to get my car or get home. But I knew that the Lord would provide because he always does!
Right before Relief Society started, I got a text message from a coworker asking if I had my keys with me and I told her yes. She then asked me if there was an extra key in my apartment somewhere and I told her no because I wasn’t sure where it was. But I think that she was planning on going to pick my car up for me which would’ve also been such a great Christlike thing to do. So that made me feel grateful. I told her that I had to teach Relief Society right now and I couldn’t reply to any more messages but that I could go pick up my car later after church and she said that would be great. They also had waived all of the fees for me since they knew they messed up.
And then for the highlight of the day lol I got to teach Relief Society and before I began, I basically told them how my day had been going and told them about my car because I just felt really flustered and even though I felt calm I just had that element of distraction, so I just wanted them to understand if I did get distracted what was going on. Jenn said that she felt like it was a good thing that I explained to the sisters what was going on because it wasn’t just me up there teaching a lesson it was me living what The Prophet was talking about. It was the reality of how hard life is and yet we can still be blessed even when life is hard and if we still keep our covenants and show up to church that we can still be blessed. I didn’t mean for it to go that way but that’s how she felt, and I can see that, and it made me feel good. Our Relief Society really does a great job of making comments and sharing personal experiences which I am so grateful for. Halfway through the lesson I just felt such gratitude for every person that was in that room, and I felt joy and peace. I knew that I was exactly where I needed to be, and I knew that all of those people that were in Relief Society today were all meant to be there, and I felt so grateful that they were there. I also had this impression that the reason why my day had gone the way it had, was because Satan did not want me to teach this lesson!
Afterwards Jenn said the exact same thing and that she had the same feeling. Once I knew that, it was like a weight had been lifted off of my shoulders and it made all of the hard things that I had gone through today totally worth it. I knew that Christ had won! I knew that Satan tried really hard to get me to not be there and he almost got me because I had no idea how I was going to make it to church. But then Christ sends angels like he always does. Sometimes they’re heavenly angels and sometimes they’re angels on this side of the veil. But he’s not going to let us fail if we are willing to try.
At the end of the lesson my foot was off of my foot plate on my wheelchair, and I went to go put my foot back on so that I could go over to the TV and play the Peace in Christ song. As I go to put my foot up, my shoe falls off. I just kind of laughed at myself and said, Yep this is the kind of day I’m having lol! I had green and black toe socks on which did not match my dress at all lol! So I proceeded to leave my shoe underneath the table, and I roll over to the TV and put on the music video. Some of the sisters were looking at my feet but I wasn’t worried lol. We played the song and then I closed and told the sisters how grateful I was that each of them was there today. I know how hard it is to get there and how hard it is to stay in the church and to choose the right and to keep our covenants, but I also know that that’s where the peace comes from. There is Peace in Christ!
I had brought some items for break the fast that I was going to make after Relief Society, but we got out a few minutes late so thankfully my friends made it for me. I ate and then my friend Rocky picked me up and put me in his truck and took me over to the yard to pick up my car. They took forever but they finally brought my car around. The lady there kept apologizing and said that the owner personally said that he was sorry and that it was a new tow truck driver. She said that she talked to the other drivers, and they all said that they know to never touch my car because they know it belongs to me. And they all rolled their eyes at the new driver. She apologized over and over, and they didn’t charge me to get my car back.
I guess they had gotten into my car and taken out my car registration. Because the lady gave it back to me before I got in my car. When I got in there, I looked for my handicap placard and it was not there. It was not where I left it on the dashboard. I opened up the glove box to put the registration back… and saw the placard in there! So, I guess the driver knew he had messed up, and tried to cover his tail and put the placard in the glove box. I never put the placard in the glove box because I can barely reach it. But I just feel grateful that I at least had my car back and I didn’t have to pay anything. I was grateful that I got to have the time in the car with my friend Rocky because it’s been a while since we’ve spent time together. I drove home and was completely exhausted. I went from being extremely scared today, multiple times to being at peace. My body is drained. But I’m grateful for today! I am grateful that I have these experiences so that I can see the Lord‘s hand in my life. It was a real-life example that those that are with us are more than those that are with them. Satan is not going to win!! It reminded me of the song that my friend Jac had written for me when I had my accident and in it, he talks about the adversary trying to get me down
“Looking down I saw the floods how deep they were around me.
Staring up I saw the translucent world.
And the face of fate glaring back at me,
I saw his fear when I asked “is this all you’ve got I’m still breathing, is this all you’ve got?”
Satan tried today to get me to not teach that lesson…but no one is going to stop the work from rolling forward!
Jenn and I aren’t usually huggers, but today before I left, I went over to her and gave her a hug. She knows how my last couple of months have been. She knew about all of the examples in my lesson that I gave today and even though I didn’t give all of the details she knows the backstory behind everything that I said. When she called later to check in on me after I got my car, both of us just said “What a Day!” Kind of surprised at all of the things that could happen in just a few hours both from the adversary and then the counterbalance from the Savior. But in the end The Savior won. Just as he did before and just as he always will! I am grateful for the miracles that I witnessed today! I’m grateful for the amazing people that I have in my life that care about me and that are here for me. I’m grateful for the Holy Ghost and the teachings from our Savior Jesus Christ. That moment when I realized that the whole reason my car had gotten towed today was just because Satan didn’t want me to teach that lesson I was immediately filled with power.
From President Nelson‘s talk he says, “Please do not misunderstand me: I did not say that making covenants makes life easy. In fact, expect opposition, because the adversary does not want you to discover the power of Jesus Christ. But yoking yourself with the Savior means you have access to His strength and redeeming power.”
I know that I received access to his strength and redeeming power today! And for that I am eternally grateful!
The all powerful Rocky going in to show the towing company who is boss!
Chair prep before he carried me out of the car
Victory!!! We got my car!! LOL!
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