One of my favorite scriptures is in D&C 24:8
“Be patient in afflictions, for thou shalt have many; but endure them, for, lo I am with thee, even unto the end of thy days.” Elder Uchtdorf talks about patience and reminds us that it is a commandment. A very
time consuming commandment for sure :) Patience takes so much
time but as our patience is cultivated and tested, we become so much more
Christlike and loving in ways that we can only learn through long periods of
time.
So the Lord may be saying here that if he has given us a
commandment, he has also provided and prepared a way that we can accomplish
that commandment. If he is asking us to be patient in afflictions it is because
there is a reason we are supposed to go through that trial. And that He will be
with us because he has prepared a way for us to accomplish that trial or learn
that lesson from that trial. I received a blessing some months ago that said
that Heavenly Father has already provided a way for me to be healed, I just
need to have faith. This was a great comfort but at the same time I was so
intrigued to know what was going to happen in the future. I know the wound will
heal, I just have no idea how. Well I didn’t until a month or two or ago when a
lot more pieces of the puzzle started to fit together.
I am scheduled for surgery at Washington Hospital
Center for June 26. I was
originally scheduled on the 12th but I will explain that later. I
had never thought of or heard of that hospital until my temple Coordinator,
or the woman that I work with at the temple, suggested I go down there. Miracle
#1 then since I feel like I have been in bed a lot I feel like I needed a
physical therapist to help stretch my legs and help me work out. My home health
agency didn’t have anyone in my area and they wanted me to switch agencies just
for PT, but I said no, I would wait to see how things played out a bit later.
About a month later my nurse comes in and says they do have a PT but she just
started. She got a hold of her and Maria started visiting me. We started
talking about the National
Rehabilitation Center
and she said I needed to go there after surgery and I agreed. I started to look
into the Washington
Hospital first and got a
referral, which was denied so I appealed but it later expired because of my
other surgery I had in January, I needed to appeal it again! But anyway the day
before my appointment was scheduled I was clear to go again! Come to find out, Washington Hospital Center
is right across the street from NRH and they actually do their surgeries and
then take the patients over the bridge to NRH for rehab. It was the perfect set
up, one that I had been looking and praying for, for a long time. I will be
getting a flap done which is where they take tissue from the area surrounding
the wound and rotate it into the wound. This way there won’t be any more scars
to my legs or anything, just a good sized wound in my toosh. And because he is
a plastic surgeon I am hoping that will look really nice by the time we are all
finished :)
My dad took me and I got into the room, he looked at the
wound, aka Bertha, for about 1 minute and started asking me questions. Like had
anyone ever mentioned the word osteomylitis and I of course said yes. He said
is theory on why it hadn’t healed yet and then talked about all these questions
that I had but didn’t have to ask because he laid it all out! He was very good
at explaining everything and there was no way you could leave there without
knowing this was where I was supposed to be. This was the Dr I have been
waiting for.
We then went over to the Rehab hospital and took a tour. The
woman who did the tour uses a wheelchair and I learned a lot from her. I don’t
know what happened but she randomly mentioned that she had all three of her
children after her accident. She said there isn’t any research done on being
pregnant and in a wheel chair so she worked on completing some studies and has
published 2 articles and started her own website raising awareness on this
topic. It wasn’t something I ever worried about, if it is supposed to happen I
know that it will, but it is so much better to be educated than to just go with
the flow. I felt very grateful that I met her and I know it wasn’t a
coincidence. She took me up to the pediatric department and that was amazing! I
won’t go into detail but it would be a very great environment to learn and work
in. The overall experience was absolutely amazing! Everything about the day was
a miracle and I feel so grateful knowing that my Heavenly Father knows me and
knows when the right time is for everything to work out the way it is supposed
to. Knowing all of this has helped me to see the light at the end of the tunnel
and await the middle of June for surgery.
About a week before Mothers day I started to not feel very
well. I was doing my activities but getting weaker. Then on Mothers day I
was standing in my standing frame and I almost passed out. I got back in bed
and after phone calls to the Dr and not feeling better I went into the ER
Thursday night the 17th. By Saturday they had put me on a clear
liquids diet. Kind of ironic because one of the main reasons I chose to go to
this hospital was because they had the best food! Haha Anyway they decided that
I had pancreatitis and the only treatment for it, is to take pain meds and wait
it out. So I have been taking pain meds and sticking to a soft foods diet.
Basically shakes and yogurt and mashed potatoes and soups, tomorrow I am going
to try something a little harder! Exciting day!
Now because my nutrition has been way off I needed to
postpone my surgery so my nutrients will be back up and my body will be able to
heal after surgery. So I have now scheduled it for the 26th. I am
very excited about this special day, and can’t wait for it to come! So as I was
getting ready to go into the ER I heard the scriptures that I started this post
with, in my head. I knew that what ever was supposed to happen was going to be
for a reason. I thought about that the entire week as I was in excruciating
pain. I was physically hurting but emotionally I was perfectly happy. I kept
thinking about my surgery and knowing it was the right thing, I knew that this
experience wasn’t just happening on accident. There was a reason it was
happening and I didn’t feel discouraged or alone at all. I actually felt the
opposite. I knew my Heavenly Father knew what was happening and that He had it
all under control. Things would all work out the way they were supposed to.
One more quick experience from this hospital stay…so this
was very painful and I felt like such a baby. If I didn’t have morphine every 3
hours I was dying! Come to find out pancreatitis is one of the most painful
things you can go though, so that made me feel better! J But when I first got
there I had this thought that I should call my friend that had worked there at
the hospital the last time we had talked. This was around a year ago and
although there weren’t any negative feelings towards him I wasn’t sure if it
was right that I contact him. So I let it go. And I kept being reminded that I need
to contact him, and I kept finding an excuse not to. The kicker was when I was
laying there so sick I couldn’t talk or even text and I thought about him
again. I couldn’t even think about anything else but my pain and his name kept
popping in my head! I decided that this really isn’t me and my own feelings,
and finally listened to the spirit and contacted him soon after that. I put up
a good fight though! Haha He came the next morning and we talked for a couple
of hours. It was such a relief to have him there, it felt like no time had
passed since last time we talked and I didn’t realize how much I needed him
there. After that first morning he said to me how he was just telling his
friend how lonely he is working by himself right now and how he wished he had
someone to talk to. It made me feel so grateful that I listened to that
prompting to call and the blessings that I continue to receive from listening.
I don’t know if that was the reason for me getting sick, but the blessings I
have received and continue to receive have made this experience worth it to me.
I feel so grateful that the Lord didn’t give up on me and kept giving me the
chance to listen and for blessing me so quickly!
I know that at different points in our lives the Lord asks
different things from us. Sometimes he asks us to learn to love those who are
difficult to love, including ourselves, sometimes he asks us to be patient, or
to endure, have charity, hope or faith. Whatever trials you are facing in your
lives I know for a fact that there is a reason for it and not only that but our
Heavenly Father is providing/preparing a way for you to accomplish this
lesson/trial. He knows the way, he sees the happy ending that we can’t even
imagine. Have hope and faith that things really will turn out the way they are
supposed to. And when we are hurting don’t give up. “There is great purpose in our struggle in life.”
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